• Amanda Tooms

Life is a balance of holding on and letting go!

As the title suggests, this may seem quite obvious but in reality, it can be really hard to achieve. Holding on and letting go can affect us mentally, physically and emotionally and can consciously or unconsciously hold us back and prevent us from living and feeling the life balance that we need for our mental and physical health and/or our emotional needs and desires.

I have recently seen a client who has always suffered with anxiety. Events in their life at the time of seeing me, fuelled their anxiety to a whole new level. They were at a point where they felt out of control. After taking a brave step out of their comfort zone and arranging to see me for counselling sessions, they were able to find balance and work on what to hold onto and what to let go. In their own words, this is their story –

Counselling – A client’s story

I am in my early 50’s. I am a very anxious person. During the pandemic and particularly the second lock down my very vulnerable mother was very poorly. I was already so anxious about the pandemic this just fuelled my anxiety. I found I was out of control, continually busy cleaning. The more I cleaned the more I found to do. Even to the point where I was up cleaning most of the night.

I was also having problems with one of my children, who is in their early 20’s. Whilst trying to deal with their problems, I felt like I had failed as a parent. I also felt ashamed and embarrassed and tried to keep it all a secret. At this time my partner was away and I just could not cope anymore.

Luckily for me I met with a friend for a walk for the 1st time in six months. I was at breaking point. I did not need medication as I wasn’t actually depressed. I decided to open up! She immediately said “stop right there, I wanted to talk to you about counselling with my friend Amanda”. Normally my anxiety would put me off, but I knew I needed help.

Session 1

I attended my first session with Amanda as recommended by my friend. It was a really big step for me with my anxiety. My friend had to take me as I don’t think I could have gone on my own. I did not know what to expect but I was 100% sure I would not let on about the problems with my son.

When I first met the counsellor (Amanda) my life was like a tight ball of string getting tighter and tighter. It was like living on a treadmill. No matter how fast I ran I could not keep up.

The first session was very calming and we just talked. Mainly me doing the talking and Amanda just listening. To my amazement I did open up. When I left the counselling session, I felt so much better. Almost lighter.

The only difficult thing about counselling for me was the getting there with my anxiety. I actually found this easier than I thought after the first session as I could actually feel the benefits.

My Second Session

This week was much easier. I explained I had a to do list for everything. The more I do the more I add to my list. Amanda listened and could understand that I like structure in my life. She suggested maybe a time table would be better than a never-ending list. This was a life changer for me!

This week I went home and planned each day. I only did what was on my timetable and what I could comfortably do each day. Amanda made me realize it was ok to sit down and relax. My life did not have to be like a run on a treadmill that I could not keep up with.

Session 3

My life is already back on track. I now have the skills to manage my life. I can feel the difference in myself. I feel like I am living and not just existing. I will always have anxiety but I seem like I can control it now. Where before it was controlling me. My life is still very stressful but I can deal with it.

My son is now also having specialist counselling for his addiction. This also seems like a weight lifted off my shoulders. He is a young man now and needs to sort his issues himself. I have learnt I can only support him. I cannot do it for him. He is still having counselling and it has definitely helped. For him this is a long-term thing. He may always need counselling!

I did have six sessions with Amanda. I then felt I had already taken control of my life again. It’s difficult to explain why counselling helped me so much and so quickly. As I was mentally in a very bad state when I started. I would recommend anybody to give it a try. I cannot even think where I would be without the counselling from Amanda. I would never let myself get in such a state again. I know just a couple of sessions with Amanda would get my life back on track.

I hope anybody who reads this will take that first step and get the counselling and help they need. It’s a life changer!

If you are reading this, and feel that you could benefit from counselling, contact Taking the first steps towards change is the bravest and most powerful. “Every Journey Needs a First Step!”

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