October Reflections: The Threads That Shape Us

On confidence, connection, finding purpose and recognising the richness of our own experiences.

What a ride October has been!

As I sit down to reflect on the past few weeks, I realise this month has been about much more than new projects, experiences and opportunities.

It’s been about connection, confidence, curiosity and finding meaning in the different chapters of our lives.

And it’s reminded me of something I often explore in my work as a therapist.

We are all made up of experiences, relationships, challenges and moments of change. But how often do we stop to recognise how these have shaped us?

The tapestry of our lives

I’ve often described my career as being rather like a tapestry.

Much like the famous Bayeux Tapestry, there are many different stories woven into it. Some threads are bold and colourful, others quieter and less noticeable, but each contributes to the bigger picture.

My own tapestry includes dance, education, leadership, mentoring, counselling, psychotherapy and clinical supervision. At different times, one has taken centre stage while another has quietly continued in the background.

Yet October has reminded me how beautifully they can come together.

And I wonder whether this is something we can all relate to.

We often look at our lives in chapters. The person we were, the experiences we’ve had, the decisions we’ve made and perhaps the opportunities we didn’t take.

Sometimes we look back with pride. Sometimes with regret, sadness or uncertainty.

In therapy, I often meet people who are trying to make sense of their own story. Perhaps they’re navigating change, questioning their identity or struggling to reconcile who they once were with who they are becoming.

Our experiences may shape us, but they don’t have to define what happens next.

Curiosity, learning and the courage to try

October began with an exciting meeting about a new project planned for 2027, followed by another wonderful conversation with a former student about future possibilities.

It’s still early days, but I love the energy that comes from sharing ideas, learning from others and exploring what might be possible.

I also attended an evening with Dr Sian Williams, author of The Power of Anxiety. Having read her book from cover to cover, it was wonderful to hear her share her personal experiences and different approaches to understanding and responding to anxiety.

It reminded me that anxiety isn’t always a sign that something is wrong. Sometimes it’s our mind and body’s response to uncertainty or something that matters deeply to us.

Of course, anxiety can be overwhelming, but learning to recognise what’s happening within us, rather than immediately judging ourselves, can be a helpful starting point.

And that brings me to something else I experienced this month.

Putting on my coat of confidence

There’s an expression I often use in my therapy room.

Put on your coat of confidence.

And this month, I found myself needing to put mine on!

I decided to attend a networking event on my own, where I didn’t know anyone.

Now, you might imagine that as someone who spends much of their professional life talking to people, walking into a room full of strangers would come naturally.

But we’re all human, aren’t we?

So, I put on my imaginary coat of confidence and walked through the door.

And I’m so pleased I did. I received such a warm welcome, met some wonderful people and came away knowing I’d definitely be returning.

It reminded me of something important.

Confidence doesn’t always come before we do something. Sometimes it develops because we’ve given ourselves the opportunity to try.

That doesn’t mean forcing ourselves into situations that feel overwhelming. It means recognising that we can feel nervous and still take small, manageable steps towards something that matters to us.

Perhaps there’s something you’ve been wanting to do, but you’ve been waiting until you feel more confident.

What might your own coat of confidence help you to try?

Connection, movement and finding our at EASE

One of the most meaningful parts of October has been launching my new fortnightly at EASE wellbeing class.

After months of planning, I held my pilot session at the beginning of the month, followed by our first public class.

And what an experience it’s been!

at EASE brings together so many of the things I’m passionate about. Movement, dance, emotional wellbeing, breathwork, relaxation and human connection.

But beneath all those elements sits something I believe is incredibly important.

Creating a space where people feel comfortable enough to simply be themselves.

So much of everyday life involves managing responsibilities, meeting expectations and looking after others that we can lose touch with how we’re actually feeling.

Our emotional experiences and physical sensations are closely connected. Gentle movement, breathing and relaxation can offer opportunities to slow down, notice what’s happening within us and reconnect with ourselves.

And then there’s the importance of connection.

Feeling welcomed, accepted and part of a community can make such a difference to our sense of belonging.

Watching women come together, laugh, move, breathe and give themselves permission to pause has genuinely filled my heart.

I have a feeling something rather special is beginning to grow.

Rest isn’t something we have to earn

Amidst all the excitement, October also gave me something I really needed.

A week of complete rest in the beautiful southwest of Spain with my mum.

Sunshine, relaxation, reflection and appreciating the simple pleasures of life. No rushing, no particular agenda, just time to be present.

And I returned feeling refreshed, with a clearer head and a renewed appreciation for slowing down.

It’s something I talk about regularly in my work, yet I also recognise how easy it is to become caught up in the busyness of life.

We live in a world where productivity is often celebrated, and rest can feel like something we have to justify.

But rest isn’t a reward for being productive. It’s part of looking after ourselves.

And it doesn’t have to mean a holiday. Sometimes it’s a quiet cup of tea, a walk without your phone or simply giving yourself permission to do nothing for a while.

When did you last allow yourself to slow down without feeling guilty?

Bringing the threads together

As October draws to a close, there are already exciting plans developing for 2027.

New projects, collaborations and opportunities to share my skills and experiences in different ways.

But what feels most significant isn’t necessarily the prospect of doing more.

It’s recognising how much of what I’ve learnt throughout my life is coming together.

The dancer, the teacher, the mentor, the therapist, the supervisor.

And, of course, simply me.

There’s something quite liberating about recognising that we don’t always have to reinvent ourselves to move forward.

Sometimes growth is about understanding ourselves more deeply, recognising our strengths and giving ourselves permission to explore what comes next.

And that can happen at any stage of life.

A thought to take away

As I reflect on October, I wonder what the tapestry of your own life might look like.

Which experiences have shaped you? Which relationships have helped you grow? And are there strengths you’ve developed along the way that perhaps you haven’t yet recognised?

You don’t have to have all the answers.

Sometimes simply becoming curious about your own experiences is a meaningful place to begin.

And perhaps that’s one of the things therapy can offer.

A space to explore the different threads of your life, understand how they connect and consider which ones you’d like to carry forward.

Not to erase the past or create an entirely different person, but to develop a deeper understanding and acceptance of the person you already are.

Because perhaps the beauty isn’t in creating an entirely new tapestry, but in recognising the richness of the one we’ve been weaving all along.

Until next month,

Amanda x

If something in these reflections has resonated with you and you’d like a space to explore your own experiences, I offer a free 15-minute discovery call. You can find out more about working with me at www.attandw.co.uk.